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Oct. 2, 2019

*Current Episode*

Ep. 034 - I’m Elvis Presley and I AM A FEDERAL AGENT, whoa!!!!

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Our first PART TWO, Elvis Presley!! This time, we dive into the crazy meeting between Elvis and then President Richard Nixon. Hear about Elvis and his crew, the Memphis Mafia manhunt a guy through an airport, stopping a plane and we detail the Los Angles warrant for Elvis arrest. Ben & I discuss the finer points in the rise of ass-chugging alcohol, the fact that Quigon Jin was the first force ghost in Star Wars history and we try our hardest not to steal quotes from the Canadian sensation television show, Letterkenny. Kick off your blue suede shoes, fry up a mess of peanut-butter and banana sandwiches, sit back and enjoy the Epoch of Elvis Presley, part 2!!

Oct. 16, 2019

Ep. 033 - I’m Elvis Presley and I Pulled a Gun on a Marine One Time

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This star was so big we had to split the episode into 2 episodes! As a youth he was described as a loner, hillbilly kid who brought his guitar to school and played it at lunch time. Not the best singer, he was told by his music teacher that he couldn't sing, he also failed an audition for the vocal quartet the SongFellows, for not being able to harmonize and once he was told by Hillbilly Singer, Eddie Bond to stick to truck driving, cause you'll never be a singer. Discovered while making a record for his mama, shortly after he had an opportunity to play the Grand Ole Opry. Unfortunately, he was not well received, but soon after he crushed it on their main competition's TV show: the Louisiana Hayride. We tell you how Mr. Steal-Yo-Girl fought his way through a flock of girls at a gas station to freedom and after getting drafted into the US Army, he got extorted for thousands of dollars while stationed in Germany.

Ben and I stumble upon the Kylie Jenner Lip Gluing Challenge, we talk about the coolness of senior year of high school and the remaking of Back to the Future. Ben will teach you how to spot a South African accent, the proper to deal with extortionists and the difference between a late-life crisis and your buddy secretly becoming an Elvis impersonator. Finally, we beg for your impersonations of us, all that and more right here in Part 1 of the Posey of Elvis Presley!

Oct. 2, 2019

Ep. 032 - I’m Gucci Mane and Ninjas Tried to Steal My Ice-Cream Cone Necklace!

photo collage of Gucci Mane, Musician, rapper Listen

It’s a long ride on the struggle bus this episode. You’ll hear about a popular 8th grader who used his Christmas money to buy crack to expand his drug dealing empire. He gets busted by an undercover cop at college and gets kicked out. Ninjas invade his home to steal his ice-cream cone necklace to claim a $10K country set by his former friend and partner. This guy gives Pete Dorthey a run for his money for are most arrested guest ever at 22 times. Ben & I talk about the time he flipped his truck into a river, the time I fought off a street gang trying to take my candy and we review proper Catholic school fight etiquette. FYI, when you’re invited to a street fight, always remember to bring a roll of pennies. Open your head mounted audio ports to receive the Motet of Radric David aka Gucci Mane!

Sept. 18, 2019

Ep. 031 - I’m Jim Morrison and I Get Pissy After I’ve Been Maced!

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Raised as a military brat, this music legend's childhood covered half a dozen states, attended a few different universities and while his father commanded US Naval forces during the Gulf of Tonkin, he lived with his grandmother. After graduating UCLA with a film degree, he and his buddy start the psychedelic rock band the Doors. While playing his trippie-hippie rock, he would incite riots from stage, trash talk police while being arrested and maybe get naked at concerts?!? Listen in as Ben & I recall failing out of French class, feuding with young Star Wars fans and the trouble with trucks. Open your ear-holes and tune in for some music history in the Madrigal of Jim Morrison!

Sept. 4, 2019

Ep. 030 - I’m Waylon Jennings and I made $25K taking a piss one time!

photo collage of Waylon Jennings, Musician, Outlaw Country Icon Listen

At the age of 12 he started work as a Radio DJ in rural Texas, playing his guitar and spinning records. He made friends with another Texas rock n' roller, Buddy Holly and even played bass in Holly's band the Crickets. His best friend was Willie Nelson and his roommate was the Man in Black, Johnny Cash. Ben & I try alcoholic seltzer water for the 1st time! We do a terrible skit about the Day the Music Died. Ben teaches everybody how to get a $10,000 raise and another week's vacation. And in this episode, you'll learn how to spent $1500 a day on cocaine, how to fact check a DEA warrant and how they created the super group the Highwaymen. Finally, hear about a $25,000 piss in the Jingle of Waylon Jennings!

Aug. 21, 2019

Ep. 029 - I’m Wendy O. Williams and I’m Pretty Accurate w/ a Ping-Pong Ball!

photo collage of Wendy O. Williams, Musician, Punk Rock Singer for the Plasmatics Listen

We head back to New York City and hit the Punk scene again. This gal hitchhiked around the States as a teenager, travelled Europe as a topless dancer, meditated with monks of Asia and even worked at a Dunkin' Donuts shop. While in NYC she answers a newspaper ad to become a performer in experimental art troupe; Captain Kinks Theater. From the stage of the live sex shows, the Metal Priestess was born. Also, Ben and I talk about family sized breasts, the proper way to wear electrical tape and then we go on location for a BONUS Mini-Podcast about Johnny Thunders with Uncle Chris! Our music history lesson for this week; Wendy O. Williams, lead singer of punk rock sensations the Plasmatics!

Aug. 7, 2019

Ep. 028 - I'm James Brown and There Are 3 Things I Didn't Like About Prison!

photo collage of James Brown, Musician, Godfather of Soul, Soul Brother Number One, Music Icon Listen

It's time for our 1-Year Anniversary Show and it's a big one! Listen along as we accurately and factually recall the life and times of one of the most influential musical icon of our time. Hear all about his youth as a boxer, his time picking peanuts and growing up in his Auntie's brothel. It's been a hell of a year for our little podcast and we're super happy you're all still hear and listening. We share some British YouTube comments we received on past shows, talk about old times & older friends and cap it all off with a SpeakPipe from somebody called the Sexy Texas Cowboy. Buckle in for some car chasing, two-fisted shot-gunning and learn a few names for PCP, all right here in our 1-Year Anniversary Show. It's James Brown!!!

Jul. 24, 2019

Ep. 027 - I’m Amy Winehouse and You Know I'm No Good!

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She attended the best performing arts schools throughout England, like all of them. After years of practice & musical education, she signed a record deal at the age of 19. She had a mean right hook and every once and a while, she'd throw a flurry of punches into a crowd. It's Amy Winehouse. We discuss the practice of mutually agreed divorce, what to tell your spouse after a night out drinking & maybe doing cocaine w/ your buddy and I help Ben sing commercials from the '80's this week. Also, you'll learn about Frank, a song about rehab called rehab and how to win a Grammy from the comfort of your own home. Pay heed to the Warble of Amy Winehouse, this week on Crime In Music.

Jul. 10, 2019

Ep. 026 - I'm Capt. Beefheart and You Better Pack More Than A Crossbow!

photo collage of Captain Beefheart, Musician, artist, scluptor Listen

What can you say about a guy who remembers his own birth, hosted a TV sculpting show for kids when he was only 9yrs old and his best friend from high school on was Frank Zappa? He drives a bread truck for a while, sold vacuums door to door and created one of the greatest rock 'n roll albums of ALL TIME. To create such amazing music, he kept his band locked in a house and forced them to practice 14hrs a day for months, with only a cup of beans for food and you'd get fired from the band by being pushed down a flight of stairs! Come listen to the Ballad of Capt. Beefheart, Don Van Vliet. You'll learn about Beefheart superfan, Simpsons creator Matt Groening, Brave New World author Aldus Huxley and cult classic movie, the Big Lebowski in this episode of Crime In Music!

Jun. 26, 2019

Ep. 025 - I’m Vanilla Ice & I’ll Wax a Chump Like a Candle!

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Drop that zero and get with a hero.... hear-o-bout a childhood of moving from Florida to Texas and back again, the drug run that started a rap career, national jet-ski championships(sit-down style), drag racing, Bucky the Wallaroo, motocross, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Hammer-Pants & Ice. Stop collaborate and listen to the rap of Rob Van Winkle, aka Vanilla Ice! Ice, ice baby to go, to go, VIP we outta here...

Jun. 12, 2019

Ep. 024 - I'm David Crosby & How Am I Still Alive?!?

photo collage of David Crosby, Musician, folk musician Listen

Born into the prominent Dutch Van Cortlandt/ Van Rensselaer family dynasty, hear about this modern day 'lil Lord and his journey to world domination. One of the original folk rock music hippies of the 1960’s, learn about forming a legendary music group at a Mama Cass house party, how to spend thousands of dollars a minute fixing a crack pipe and talking JFK assassination conspiracies in-between songs at concerts. One of only a handful of people to perform at the Monterrey Pop Festival, Woodstock & Altamont Free Concert, all in the same year (1969 heh-heh). You'll learn about the Vatican's favorite records, pirates bribing cops and proper boat maintenance. We repeat some lines and some crimes, in the Chorus of David Crosby!

FYI: Here's a list of the bands we talk about in this episode: Buffalo Springfield, the Hollies, Joni Mitchell, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young, the Byrds, the Beach Boys, Jackson Browne, the Monkees, Art Garfunkel, Phil Collins, the Indigo Girls, James Taylor & Sir Elton John.

May 29, 2019

Ep. 023 - I’m DMX... FREEZE, I’m NOT a Federal Agent!

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This is our MOST arrested guest of all time! We'll tell you about Earl Simmons, aka DMX. Hear about his time in Children's Prisons, the importance of Breaking 2: Electric Boog-a-loo, our beatbox skills and how-to do a sweet Vince McMahon impression. Earl continues the trend of musicians escaping jail and raises the bar by impersonating a Federal Agent while trying to commandeer a civilian vehicle outside JFK Airport. Check out our Ditty of DMX!

May 15, 2019

Ep. 022 - I'm Not a Person, I'm the Altamont Free Concert!

photo collage of the Altamont Free Concert, music festival Listen

This one's a little different. You'll learn how to cut concert costs, tell only your closest friends and still throw the mother of all field parties! Here's Step 1: Hire the Hell's Angels as security! Hear about knife fights, long barreled pistols, bikers beating on nudists, Santana, Jefferson Airplane, CSN&Y, the Flying Burrito Bros. and the Rolling Stones, this concert has it all! Listen to our anthem for the Altamont Free Concert!

May 1, 2019

Ep. 021 - I'm Lindsay Lohan, Move That Cone!

photo collage of Lindsay Lohan, Actor, Musician, pop music, EDM Listen

Thrust into fame at a young age as a baby model, she posts a lot of bail money in her middle years all while taking the entertainment world by storm. Learn about her time tagging toes for the county, what court ordered alcohol bracelets are and a criminal record so long... we had to print a Rap Sheet to save my writing hand. Listen to the Lullaby of Lindsay Lohan!

Apr. 17, 2019

Ep. 020 - I'm Not British, I'm Australian Rolf Harris and I'll Tie Down More Than Your Kangaroo!

photo collage of Rolf Harris, Musician, Australian folk Listen

We go Down Under for this episode about Rolf Harris, inventor of the Wobble Board. We get a lesson on oil painting Queen Elizabeth II, national teenage swimming championships & bush ranging. Learn how an Australian literately became one of the 1st guys EVER on British TV. He had Children's drawing shows and a Late Night Talk Show, Okay?!? Can you tell what it is yet? Tune in and find out, in this week's episode of Crime In Music!

Apr. 3, 2019

Ep. 019 - I'm Pete Doherty and I Probably Have Drugs On Me Right Now, Like Now Now...

photo collage of Pete Doherty, Musician, British rock Listen

Hear the dirge of Pete Doherty. He got arrested 3x's in 1 day, had heroin fall out of his pocket while in court for a DUI and broke into his bandmates apartment to steal some records! We say, "AGAIN" a bunch of times in this episode. If you've ever wondered what they mean when they say, Sex, Drugs & Rock n' Roll, we'll tell you Pete's version of living that the dream. Will Pete ever get his driver's license back, will he get Kate Moss back & can Ben and I evade Dog the Bounty Hunter & his wife(Beth)??? Listen and find out in this episode of Crime In Music!

Mar. 20, 2019

Ep. 018 - I'm Johnny PayCheck and I Took That Job & Shoved It!!

photo collage of Foxy Brown, Musician, rapper Listen

It's the ballad of Johnny Paycheck. Working his way up from ghost writing major country hits for artists like Tammy Wynette and Ray Price, fronting for George Jones band and even having to take a job as a bass player, Johnny-Donny does it all in the world of country music. We have another double Navy deserter, guest star on the Dukes of Hazzard and on a side trip to the bar, before he went to his Mom's house for the holidays, hear why Johnny shoots a guy in the head during an emphysema-style bar brawl over deer meat and homemade turtle soup! Merle Haggard posts his bail after a secret recording session behind bars. Give a listen to the tale of the Ohio Kid, Donny Young....... Johnny Paycheck!

Mar. 6, 2019

Ep. 017 - I'm Foxy Brown and Yes, I am Famous!

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Foxy Brown! We answer the age old question: what does the Fox say? Nail salon fights, running down babies in her Range Rover and busting thru the glass ceiling of the rap industry, this woman is quite a wonder!

Feb. 20, 2019

Ep. 016 - I'm Varg Virkensen and I smell something burning...!

photo collage of Varg Virkensen, Musician, Norgewian Black Metal Listen

Not all Pagans are People Against Goodness And Normalcy, but this guy kinda was, it's Norwegian Black Metal pioneer Varg Vikernes! Historically flammable Norway is the scene for this episode about rampant church burnings, how to carjacking a family while on "leave" from prison and why everybody is just trying to be happy, even if that means stocking up on hundreds of pounds of explosives in case the Americans, Russians or Royal Family decide to attack. Travel with us like Vikings as we set sail down the dark and stormy soul of the Wolf, Count Grishnackh, Varg Vikernes.

Feb. 6, 2019

Ep. 015 - I'm Huddie Ledbetter, Leadbelly

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It was soooooo long ago! From the 1800's, King of the 12-Strings; Huddie Ledbetter, better know as Leadbelly! Another amazing tale of life on the road. With nothing but a skinny guitar and a blind guy, Huddie heads out on the road to Dallas, Texas, leaving the comfort brothels, saloons & 15 women a night, behind. Yup, 15 a night! From name changes, chain gangs and out running the search dogs, we cover it all in this episode about one of music's most influential folk musicians!

Jan. 23, 2019

Ep. 014 - I'm NOT a Gay-Ice-Cream Truck, I'm Tekshi69!

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Going all the way back to 2018, it's Tekashi69/ 6ix9ine/ 69..! Journey along w/ us from gang life to Gram groupies and maybe a Grammy for a young man with a colorful look and Slovakian access to SoundCloud, we'll get there. Kidnapping, gang shootouts and even an on going Federal RICO case are explored in this episode about Daniel Hernandez, aka Tekashi69.

Jan. 9, 2019

Ep. 013 - I'm I'll prob do that again, I'm Merle Haggard!

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His mama tried to raise him better, oh she tried, she tried...... she didn't succeed, Mighty Merle Haggard everybody! Hopping trains at 10 yrs old, escaping children's prisons, local jails multiple times & we say “again” a lot in this episode. Literally born in a train box-car, childhood was tough for young Merle. He tried to walk away from his life of crime several times, but it wasn't until he met his hero, Lefty Frizell, that Merle started to change his ways! Hop a train with us, sit a spell & hear the story of: Merle Haggard, the Poet of the Common Man!

Dec. 26, 2018

Ep. 012 - I'm NOT in Color Me Bad, I'm Snow!

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Learn about Canadian hood life in this episode, with drinking, fighting & rapping with Snow White himself, Darrin O'Brien aka Snow! It's hard coming up when everybody at the party thinks you're a Narc, but Darrin did it and more! You'll learn how to speak patois, shoot a video in 2-days and earn the respect of the 5th floor jail house.

Dec. 12, 2018

Ep. 011 - I'm Moon the Loon, I'm Keith Moon!

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He wanted to be one of the Beach Boys, but he had a gig as a fill-in drummer for the Who, it's Keith Moon! You'll learn how to explode a toilet, piss off your neighbors and throw a birthday party that'll knock you're teeth out. Hear a 'skit', stories of Flint and the time Ben got ran over, seriously, he got ran over! Give a listen to all this and more! Thanks everybody, enjoy!

Nov. 28, 2018

Ep. 010 - I'm NOT a Good Monkey Daddy, I'm Justin Bieber!

photo collage of Justin Bieber, Actor, Musician, pop music Listen

It's episode number 10, our MEGA show and who's more MEGA than Purple Passion himself, Rick the Sizzler, JB, Justin Bieber! We dive deep into the bastards tale of spitting, speeding and selecting your porn name. Learn how to pick up easy Canadian girls, mishandle a monkey and get kicked out of TWO different countries. Hear our 1st listener feedback ever on our MEGA 010 Episode! Thanks Everybody!!!!!!!!!!

Nov. 14, 2018

Ep. 009 - I'm Martha's Son... I'm Chuck Berry!

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It's creator & legend of Rock n' Roll: Chuck Berry! Follow along w/ us, learn the origins of the duckwalk and hear about a fart that'll blow your hair back, baby! We say 'baby' a lot in this episode, describe a crime spree w/ dad jokes, explain children's prisons and the Mann Act makes an appearance!

Oct. 31, 2018

Ep. 008 - I'm NOT a Diaper-Face, I'm Mindy McCready!

photo collage of Mindy McCready, Musician, country music Listen

Spit out of the bottom end of the porn industry, drinking, drugs and high-seas piracy, country singer Mindy McCready is our 1st lady to make the show! Talented from a young age, she was a born singer and signed to a record label at age 18! Dean Cain makes an appearance! Find out how it all crashes down around her and why it's LeeAnn Rimes fault!

Oct. 17, 2018

Ep. 007 - I'm a Grownup, I Swear... I'm Dupree Bolton!

photo collage of Dupree Bolton, Musician, jazz Listen

He left home when he was only a child to play music on the road. Born into the Great Depression & the Dust Bowl, Dupree Bolton was a master of the Jazz Trumpet. Hear a tale of drugs, counterfeiting and learn a lot about prison jazz, give a listen to Dupree Bolton!

Oct. 3, 2018

Ep. 006 - I'm NOT Dracula, I'm Prince of Genosa Carlo Gesualdo...

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Classic Music lovers, it's a mad, mad, mad, madrigal world as we break down the Price of Genosa's breakdown! An entitled, rich, royal with a love of all things musical and little else, it's Prince Carlo Gesualdo! He may or may not be the origin story of vampire tales throughout Europe. Did he leave his victims bodies in caskets on the front steps for all to see? Did he kill a baby?!? Grab your lute and give a listen as we go waaaaaaaaay back for the murderous, madrigal master: Carlo Gesualdo.

Sept. 19, 2018

Ep. 005 - I'm a Crash-Proof Teddybear, I'm Phil Spector!

photo collage of Phil Spector, Musician, producer, innovator Listen

Brick by brick, we deconstruct Wall of Sound creator Phil Spector and his musical and murderous contributions. At first, he was a musician. He once played LIVE on the Ed Sullivan Show. He became a producer, he motivated the Ramones with fire-power to finish one of their recording sessions. Later, he enjoyed cruising the night club scene to pick up B-List celebrities with his trade-mark blue limosuine! It get's weird...

Sept. 5, 2018

Ep. 004 - I'm Named After a Hamster, I'm Sid Vicious!

photo collage of Sid Vicious, Musician, punk music Listen

Oi! Think Romeo & Juliette, but with better music and cooler clothes. The English punk scene has it's characters and this guy is one of them. From being paid to STOP singing, to the Top of the charts and of course, Nancy. It's time to break some glass with Sid Vicious, this time on Crime In Music, Oi!

Aug. 23, 2018

Ep. 003 - I'm Lil' Wayne and I Have a Big... Brain!

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Writin' rhymes before his teens, rappin' on answering machines, did some time, but he's no fiend, listen to the lullaby of Lil' Wayne!

Aug. 15, 2018

Ep. 002 - I'm NOT Racist, I'm David Allan Coe!

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Hello Again! This week, the tale of one of Ohio's most wanted, musicians! Hard times growing up, harder times once he was grown. Hear all about Ohio's prison system, life with Shel Silverstein & Jimmy Buffett as your roommates and how to get a record contract by living in a herse; it's the Tale of David Allan Coe.

Jul. 30, 2018

Ep. 001 - I'm Rick James B*tch!

photo collage of Rick James, Musician, funk Listen

We tell the tale of James Abrose Johnson Jr., from Buffalo, NY. Meeting musical legends like; John Coltrane, Etta James and Miles Davis, while collecting book with his mother at the age of 10, Little Ricky James Matthews starts his journey into musical fame and fortune. Count how many times Ricky James flees the country in our 1st ever episode of Crime in Music!

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